Hard turbans for terrorists?

There once was a time when being a dead 'freedom fighter' was at least romantic. Che Guevera was captured by 1800 Bolivian troops (backed up by Green Berets and the CIA) before a Hollywood style execution in a remote mud hut. Sound messy? Not a good day for sure - but a lot better than having your car blown up by a US drone launched missile in some Yemeni backwater. Anwar al-Awlaki had no time for last immortal words or a brave warrior's death. One minute he was just sitting in his car dreaming of those California prostitutes he once coveted - the next moment he was meeting his 72 untalented virgins! It is a fate shared by at least four others on the FBI terrorist list - plus al-Awlaki's American buddy Samir Khan who is now literally 'one' with his dead al Qaeda leader. Even Bin Laden didn't fare much better. Shot by Navy Seals while all wrapped up in his blankie watching TV - he was then dumped into Sponge Bob Land where it is hard to build lasting memorials.

Terrorist Central really needs to get on top of this issue. It is very difficult to achieve immortal martyrdom when your brains are splattered all over the leather seats of your Land Rover. Every movie fan knows that the bad guys are supposed to get a big send off - like Dr evil drifting off into space, or Bonnie and Clyde's bullet riddled corpses twitching in the dirt. It seems so unfair to rise all the way to the top of the FBI list - only to go out with so little glory. Steel reinforced turbans might at least keep the gray matter intact long enough for a death bed video clip. A floating turban with a built in GPS locater might also be a good plan if you've pissed off the navy and want your body recovered for blessed burial.

It is a real shame that an American boy who rose to the top of his profession should be turned into pea soup by his own government. After all, the 2.0 'You-Tube' terrorist revolutionized the whole business of slaughtering innocents and even invented the 'underwear bomb'. Ron Paul and the ACLU have already condemned the al-Awlaki 'assassination', though they seem to be more worried about the fact that Americans killing Americans without a trial sets a dangerous precedent. Perhaps Ron Paul is getting a little nervous about driving around Texas?

What will Hollywood do when the time comes to tell the al-Awlaki story? No romantic Butch Cassidy shoot-out - just a little kidding around with Sammy, then poof the lights go out? Of course the truth has never stopped the movie moguls from working their immortal magic. Andy and Sammy will likely be chased between the sand dunes by the ever closing missile, evading it for several minutes before a last ditch AK-47 attempt at close-in defense.

There is clearly a plot afoot to take the glory out of terrorism, but it is eventually doomed to failure. The truth stands no chance of immortality when illusion is so much more entertaining. Stay tuned for the 'Andy and Sammy Saga' at a theatre near you!